14 February 2011

Bootcamp - Day 4

I felt bad.
I knew; I was cranky.
I was and am sorry…
Maybe it was the lack of sleep or the slight fever…

Sir, I was glad you complimented me; that I did better than before.
I wanted to smile and say thank you graciously.
But I could not… It’s complicated.
I did not feel that I did good enough to earn that compliment.
I should not think that way, I knew.
It is hard for me to accept kindness. I am sorry.
I knew you meant well and that you wanted to cheer me up.
I am sorry I reacted that way and did not thank you properly.
I should break this mechanism. Please give me more time.

And you know what, even when I still hate the exercises - the torture, the panting and sweating and the mosquitoes, I like the gathering, the support all of us gave to one another, the light chit-chat, the laughter and camaraderie. I really like it, even love it. It really touched my heart.

It never fails to bring tears to my eyes every time I think about the sincere support the other participants gave me. I really, really want to thank you all, for everything. I am not the easiest person to be with, but you guys were really patient with me. I hope one day I can give all of you the kindness you gave to me, the support, the laughter and the solidarity.

Some participants could not turn up for one reason or another, and in the middle of painfully doing the sets, I thought; why am I here? Why don’t I just pull out? It is not as if I could not just leave…
But no, even when I think about it, I know I will come, that I would not quit it, and that I would not leave.
It became not just me anymore, but the lovely people around me. I love you guys, please do not doubt that.
 Love you.

This reflection has turn quite psychological, my apologies. I just could not help it. *grin*

Anyway, I am going to have a backache tomorrow, and stomachache, too. I can already feel the muscles contracting… (-_-‘’)

Ugh, stomach cramp. (-_-‘’)
                                                                                                               
With Love,
Lina.

Good Food

Food is good
not only if it tastes good,
but also when it leaves a bit of lingering after-taste.


ForeverTheCritic,
Lina.

Bootcamp - Day 3

Before the training:
Before I knew it, the day 3 of the boot camp came in blink of my eyes.

During the training:
I was back to square one – worst performance in the boot camp, and what made it so bad is that I felt worst! I was so ashamed of myself! (TT)
I still had not found a liking to these activities and I still could not break free from liking my comfort zone and familiarity. Mr. P was patient, I s’pose… And the other participants were kind and supportive. I felt kind of embarrassed from time to time, like when they cheered me up and I could finish a set nicely. Though I think it would be good to allow myself a bit surge of pride and the feeling of success. Just a bit… (XP)
They all were just simply kind.

A bit of thoughts:
This time, would I let myself be or feel supported by others, namely the other participants? Or will I get cowardly like I usually do and shove aside their kindness?

After the training:
Sleep was heavenly; I could not get enough of it, and I could not get up on time! *high-level panic*
And my body ached all over, ALL over.

The ugly stuff:
Ah, Sunday finally came.
My body ached deliciously and I could not move much.
After waking up early in the morning, I thought I would give myself a few treat; a chicken burger. A deep-fried chicken burger.
I know I should not have done that, but I could not resist! (>.<)
After that I met my relatives for breakfast. Yes, you heard me right; breakfast, of noodles and meat and mushrooms and iced tea. But then, noodles? After that burger? No, no, no, no, NO! So, I resolved in having the rice cake.
Not much different, I know.
And let’s have warm tea instead of the iced one to warm up these tense muscles.

What it would be for lunch, I wondered. But I knew what it is for dinner; a plate-full of my hometown’s fishcake! YUM! (XP)
Oh well, let’s had Sunday as the indulgence day!
*NOOOOOOOOOO……..*

PS. Sorry folks, I’d do better next time.
Ah, I forgot to eat the fruits!

Update:
Psst, I found out that I would feel good feeling the ache; it means I have worked out hard! And every work out is appreciated! (>.<)

Love,
Lina.