14 October 2012

Forbidden Gravitation

I felt it again;
The sunk feeling when a supposedly fun, exciting, turn of events sets the siren of my danger radar off...

Something so innocent, triggered the knock on my wild fantasy's door;
The door I so carefully locked up and hidden away, even from myself.
The door I so consciously avoid, and never let loose...

The fear I felt for my sanity,
So strong my whole being jerked in agony.
So strong, I could not even fight,
Or flight.

My chest contracted;
There was never enough air.

My eyes went wild looking for exit sign,
But I could see none.
I was trapped;
By my own choice.
By my own steps.

My throat closed;
Not even a croak escaped.
No help can be said.
No signal can be reached.

Hidden desires are drawn by the eyes and bodies,
Threatening to break free from all chains and covers...

Temptation never felt so compelling to be let loose,
To be drowned in passion and abandon,
To be challenged by indignation,
To be faced in fascination.

My whole mastery shook;
Control never felt so constrained.

Whispers of luring seduction never sounded so loud;
How wonderful to bask in fantasy...
To let all desires run free...
And let satisfaction engulfs me...

Enticement so subtle so persuasive,
Coaxing the snare of belief imprisonment to forgive...

Oh, how I yearn to caress,
The glorious sensation on human's skin...
The liberation of satisfaction.

Alas,
The world will never let me forget;
For I am the bearer of name,
The bearer of shame...

Alas,
The conscience will never let me break free;
For I am the loved one of those who care,
For I am the lover of those who care...

In my shoes I can say;
How lovely if I am with no name, no shame,
If I  am one no one knows, and no one cares...

But be content, I will;
For I am me,
And blessed, I be.


So much loves are pouring onto me with no chain and no bane,
And I will forever be grateful for this name.





Loving and Yearning,
Lina.