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I crave human touch.

Lost

Where should one go when one crave comfort?

My Long-Lost Heart

I can't find a single answer for my motivation.


I realised then, and now, I have none.


This nothing-to-lose attitude is more a hassle to my yearning of vivacity than its worth guarding my heart.


Why can't I have one? 
What is lacking in me that caused me to not have anything dear to my heart; 
          anything that I would fight tooth and nail for? 


          Who am I kidding?
          'Amiable relationship'?
          What a bunch of nonsense..


But, it was not.
I really meant it.


What lacking is the motivation from me; 
What I want to achieve for me, 
Not what I want from others.


There is this, 


emptiness; 


The motivation from inside that I'm lacking, since long ago.


Dragging my feet living life, just because, 
Is difficult, 
Is making me lose heart, 
Making me give in to temptation, 
Many temptation. 


          Too darn many of 'em. 


The search of this thing inside has been futile, or so I've found. 
And why I keep on looking? 
Because I feel incomplete without it, that's why. 
And because I fear I can't function without it. 


Am I a person of temperament? I am afraid so. 
I would not want it so, you understand, if I could have chosen.
          Then again, maybe I would choose to be so.


Ah, we'll never end this discussion of what ifs.. 








Love,
Lina.

A Sudden Unearthed Impulse

Beneath this arrogance there is a desire,
to be owned, mastered over,
to be seized over; this very life, this very living,
to be towered over, 
          to be possessed to oblivion,

                    to nothingness but pleasure.

                              And satisfaction.

Beneath this prudishness there is a soul,
longing for light-hearted murmurs for the feelings,
for an embrace that touch the assurance,
          for an ardour that betray the senses. 
                    Straight to eternity.


Beneath this retraction there is a wish,
for somebody to pierce through this mask of haughtiness,
          to pull this charade apart.
                    And reveal what lust inside.


Beneath this strong façade there is a little somebody,
whom is wishing for a little gentleness,
          for a little gloved protection from the cruel world outside,
          for a little silky tie to return to,
          for a little feathery chain to hold on to.
                    For a little love for whom one is.






With Love,
Lina.

A Simple, Yet Complex, Gift.

"To love and to be loved is the greatest gift of all."

Looking For A Saviour? Look Again.

This cowardice of waiting to be saved,
          Waiting to be pulled to escape;

Will we ever break-free?

And then,
Take our own lives into our own hands;

Our own strong hands.

With Love,
Lina.

Mother

"Ku dengar ibuku berdoa,

Ada namaku disebut"

(I heard my mother prayed,

there was my name she mentioned)

This never fails to bring me to the verge of tears.

Always Loving You, Mom,

Lina.