27 July 2010

One-Sided Friendships.

It is kind of no fun to be around you when you sulk.
Is it me the one without consideration?
Or is it you who think it is just not worth it to be happy around me?
*defeated, dejected sigh*


I feel that we are getting further away.
Is it my fault?
Is it your fault?
It was the defensive-me talking.
But don’t I have the right to be?
Defensive?


You are getting your way.
I wanted and still want to get my way.
Which should we choose?
It was the selfish-me talking.
But don’t I have the right to be?
Selfish?


I am confused.
I am horrified that it will end this fragile friendship.


There are things that we do not agree on, yes.
But that does not mean we have to go on our separate ways, right?


I am scared, terrified.
I mean, should I be?


I might not like the things you do.
You might not like the things I do.
But you are the go-to person when I need lifting up.
And I am your go-to person when you need lifting up.
Or is it just me who think that way?
Is it just a false hope of mine?
I sure hope not.


Please don’t leave me.
As much as I hate saying it, please don’t leave me.


I don’t want to be left alone anymore.
Maybe that’s my Damocles’ sword, or Achilles’ heel, or whatever.
Maybe that is why I was always groveling on your feet.
Or maybe because I was groveling so you came to me to be my ‘master’?


It hurts, knowing that you don’t treasure it as much as I do.
Knowing that you can throw me away at a moment’s fit.
Knowing that you don’t need me as much as I do you.
Knowing that you don’t appreciate me as much as I do you.
Knowing that you don’t care about me as much as I do you.
Knowing that you’ll be just fine without me, where I’ll crumble without you.


I hate it.


Giving in,
Herlina.

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