The Invisible Chain

Those silver eyes caught me,

Entrapped me.

My head screamed run,

But my body said stay.

My eyes must have revealed my fear,

          'Cause you chuckled.

And then you petted my head,

Twirled my hair.

I was too afraid to breathe,

Too afraid to twitch.

I should have brushed away your hand,

Brushed away your existence.

My body did your every bidding,

Even when my head,

And my heart,

Scream RUN.

What curse you put on me?

Kindly release me.

Please.,
Lina.

What’s the cure to loneliness?

I’m lying on my bed, alone.
Shaking, trembling, with the distinct coldness of the room.
Nobody seems to be reachable.
Nobody seems to be around.
Can a person die of feeling lonely?
Can I just die now?
This is painful.
Just pain.


Could somebody please reach me?
Reach me?
Please?
This is unbearable.
This is cold.


Selfish of me, I know.
Stupid of me, maybe.
I don’t know anymore.
I don’t want to know anymore.
I don’t want to understand anymore.


I’m shaking.
Trembling.
Lying on my bed, alone.
With no one in sight.
Just me and the coldness of the room.


Why now?
Why now?
Why?
When the warmth of others has subsided?
When the warmth of others’ affections has gone far away?
Why should I care about it now?
Why should I crave it now?
I can’t think anymore,
My head’s going to explode.


In pain,
Lina.
PS. Help.

Fighting.

You can talk.
I'll listen.

Bitter,

Lina.

The Contradiction of The Heart.

I want somebody who is harmless to my heart.


Cause me no sadness, no grief, no tear.


No difficulty.



 But then, that means you are of no import to my heart, no?


No significance?



 Ah, how this world’s nuances confuse me.


 This world’s a big joker, no?


Playing with us and life, wrapped around its dainty little fingers…





With Love,
Lina.

This Life, is a confusion.

This life is tainted.
Mistakes
Failures
Sins


There were choices.
The choices we made.
The choices we didn’t make.


Do you ever wonder how life would be if you took different choices?
If.




Then future comes.
Is there anything we can do about it?
Is there anything we didn’t do about it?


Planning
Making promises
Dreaming




If we have a chance to start all over again; would you?
          Start again?
If we can redo all mistakes, alter all choices, clean up all sins; would you?
          Erase your life and trade it for a brand new one?


If you can draw the future; would you?
          Design your life without a single smudge?
If you can conceive the clean, white-sheet life; would you?
          Make it squeaky-clean?
          Make it ‘perfect’?






What is perfect?

With Love,

Lina.

You and... What Am I?

I am quiet
Not at all the jovial type
Not at all the famous type


I am not in any clique
Not exceptionally smart
Not exceptionally funny
Not exceptionally rich


I keep to myself
          Do I?




You
Are like another dimension
From another faraway place


Not exactly jovial
But you certainly know how to light up the room


You work hard
And you certainly get what you deserve


You do not seem to belong to any clique
Not that they do not want you






This script is not for showing how sad my life is
Not for gathering sympathy either
Not for disclosing any underlying wish
Because I am happy where I am right now
Not going to trade it with anything else
It sure ain’t bed of roses
But I like it
Not exactly proud of what I have done
But that mold me into what I am now
And I do not think I want to change it with anything else
         
          Sounds like making conviction for myself, no?
          An oath of self-confidence?




This is just
          An observation.
         
          Would’ja believe it?






And you called.

With Love,

Lina.

What makes good writing?

Misery.

Sure, you can argue. I don't mind. :)

I Hope You Dance by Ronan Keating

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leaves you empty handed


I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance


I hope you dance
I hope you dance


I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they’re worth taking
Loving might be a mistake but it's worth making


Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance


I hope you dance (time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance (rolling us along)
I hope you dance (tell me who wants to look back on the years and wonder)
I hope you dance (where those years have gone)


I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance


Dance (time is wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance (rolling us along)
I hope you dance (tell me who wants to look back on the years and wonder)
I hope you dance (where those years have gone)


I hope you dance
I hope you're dancing
I hope you're dancing
I pray you're dancing
I hope you dance




> A version of this amazing song, by Lee Ann Womack, was once given to me by an amazing teacher of mine, touching me in a way she would never imagine.


>Now, shaking with tears, I would like to convey this to you.
I'm sorry for the past that hurt you,
I'm sorry that I couldn't straighten it out.
I hope you would find it in your heart to understand.
I hope you would find it in your heart to let me stand beside you.
Even when we don't see each other, I hope you would never doubt my love, my friendship.
Even when you are not with me, I wish for your happiness.
I hope you stay strong, never give up and reach for your happiness.
I wish you well, I wish you all the best.


Love,
Lina.

How do you define love?

For me;
Love is universal.
You give it to your family, your friends, and others.

A Mere Infant, thirsty of attention.

I am a little baby now.


Ignorant and silly.


Looking for the warmth of its mother, and the protection of its father.


Looking for home,
where it can rest its soul,
and just wipe away tears of uncertainties.




Love,
Lina.

What Should I Do?

You accused me of something I did not do!


What did I say?
What did I write?


I have no idea what you are referring to.


Would you let me explain?
It might be some silly books, or some silly songs...


Is that what you really think of me?
After all these years?


Maybe you're better off without me..
And maybe I am better off without you...


But to know that that is how you see me?
It's paralysing.


It really is.


But what hurt most is that you didn't even give me the benefit of doubt.
You didn't ask.
You didn't let me explain.


And, is that how you see me?
You don't think highly  of me, I know.
You never appreciate my opinions, I can see that.


You approached me when you need to use me.
I can feel that you were using me.
I felt that, a lot.


And now I am trash?


It hurts, a lot.


Now, I just want to sleep, forget all this, and never wake up anymore.


As dramatic or exagerating as it sounds, that's how I really feel.




Lost,
Lina.

The troubling one; Love.

I am just the third party; looking from the outside.


It never happen to me before, not that I want it to, considering what has befallen onto others.


I might not like it.
I might not know how it feels like.
I might not want it.


And you might scoff upon me because of that.
Look down upon me because of that.
Ignore me, belittle me because of that.


Me, the ignorant one.
The stupid one.
The ugly one.
The one to be jeered upon.
The one to be mocked upon.


Is it my fault that I scoff upon it?
Is it my fault that I don't like it?


It hurts.
It is painful.
so now, what should I do?






Sad,
Lina.

I never expected this to happen.

Never.
I am so devastated, it's paralysing.
I want to close my eyes, and never have to wake up anymore.
It's just my weak self, just me.




unsure,
lina.

Alive And Kickin'

The wound is there. It might get painful from time to time, and I might lick it every now and then, but I'll be fine. I'll be just fine.

Stayin' Strong,

Lina.

A Poem from A Devastated Father.

À Villequier

Hélas ! vers le passé tournant un oeil d'envie,

Sans que rien ici-bas puisse m'en consoler,

Je regarde toujours ce moment de ma vie

Où je l'ai vue ouvrir son aile et s'envoler !



Je verrai cet instant jusqu'à ce que je meure,

L'instant, pleurs superflus !

Où je criai : L'enfant que j'avais tout à l'heure,

Quoi donc ! je ne l'ai plus !


*
Alas! turning an envious eye towards the past,

unconsolable by anything on earth,

I keep looking at that moment of my life

when I saw her open her wings and fly away!



I will see that instant until I die,

that instant—too much for tears!

when I cried out: "The child that I had just now--

what! I don't have her any more!"



- Victor-Marie Hugo (26 February 1802 – 22 May 1885), on losing his daughter; Léopoldine who died in 1843 -
 
 
Condolences,
Lina.

Living Life

UNLEASH YOUR POTENTIAL

Unless you flap your wings,
you will never know how high you can fly.

With Love,

Lina.

Living Life

Shoot for the moon.
Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

With Love,

Lina.

Living Life

It's always tempting to believe that people have changed for the better.

But we are frequently disappointed a second or third time.

Do protect your heart.

With Love,

Lina.

Living Life

     
After all,
Tomorrow is another day.

Best Regards,

Lina.

Living Life

You're going out a youngster,
but you've got to come back A STAR.

With Love,

Lina.