I Hope You Dance by Ronan Keating

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger
May you never take one single breath for granted
God forbid love ever leaves you empty handed


I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
and when you get the choice to sit it out or dance


I hope you dance
I hope you dance


I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance
Never settle for the path of least resistance
Living might mean taking chances but they’re worth taking
Loving might be a mistake but it's worth making


Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter
When you come close to selling out reconsider
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance


I hope you dance (time is a wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance (rolling us along)
I hope you dance (tell me who wants to look back on the years and wonder)
I hope you dance (where those years have gone)


I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance


Dance (time is wheel in constant motion always)
I hope you dance (rolling us along)
I hope you dance (tell me who wants to look back on the years and wonder)
I hope you dance (where those years have gone)


I hope you dance
I hope you're dancing
I hope you're dancing
I pray you're dancing
I hope you dance




> A version of this amazing song, by Lee Ann Womack, was once given to me by an amazing teacher of mine, touching me in a way she would never imagine.


>Now, shaking with tears, I would like to convey this to you.
I'm sorry for the past that hurt you,
I'm sorry that I couldn't straighten it out.
I hope you would find it in your heart to understand.
I hope you would find it in your heart to let me stand beside you.
Even when we don't see each other, I hope you would never doubt my love, my friendship.
Even when you are not with me, I wish for your happiness.
I hope you stay strong, never give up and reach for your happiness.
I wish you well, I wish you all the best.


Love,
Lina.

How do you define love?

For me;
Love is universal.
You give it to your family, your friends, and others.

A Mere Infant, thirsty of attention.

I am a little baby now.


Ignorant and silly.


Looking for the warmth of its mother, and the protection of its father.


Looking for home,
where it can rest its soul,
and just wipe away tears of uncertainties.




Love,
Lina.

What Should I Do?

You accused me of something I did not do!


What did I say?
What did I write?


I have no idea what you are referring to.


Would you let me explain?
It might be some silly books, or some silly songs...


Is that what you really think of me?
After all these years?


Maybe you're better off without me..
And maybe I am better off without you...


But to know that that is how you see me?
It's paralysing.


It really is.


But what hurt most is that you didn't even give me the benefit of doubt.
You didn't ask.
You didn't let me explain.


And, is that how you see me?
You don't think highly  of me, I know.
You never appreciate my opinions, I can see that.


You approached me when you need to use me.
I can feel that you were using me.
I felt that, a lot.


And now I am trash?


It hurts, a lot.


Now, I just want to sleep, forget all this, and never wake up anymore.


As dramatic or exagerating as it sounds, that's how I really feel.




Lost,
Lina.

The troubling one; Love.

I am just the third party; looking from the outside.


It never happen to me before, not that I want it to, considering what has befallen onto others.


I might not like it.
I might not know how it feels like.
I might not want it.


And you might scoff upon me because of that.
Look down upon me because of that.
Ignore me, belittle me because of that.


Me, the ignorant one.
The stupid one.
The ugly one.
The one to be jeered upon.
The one to be mocked upon.


Is it my fault that I scoff upon it?
Is it my fault that I don't like it?


It hurts.
It is painful.
so now, what should I do?






Sad,
Lina.

I never expected this to happen.

Never.
I am so devastated, it's paralysing.
I want to close my eyes, and never have to wake up anymore.
It's just my weak self, just me.




unsure,
lina.

Alive And Kickin'

The wound is there. It might get painful from time to time, and I might lick it every now and then, but I'll be fine. I'll be just fine.

Stayin' Strong,

Lina.

A Poem from A Devastated Father.

À Villequier

Hélas ! vers le passé tournant un oeil d'envie,

Sans que rien ici-bas puisse m'en consoler,

Je regarde toujours ce moment de ma vie

Où je l'ai vue ouvrir son aile et s'envoler !



Je verrai cet instant jusqu'à ce que je meure,

L'instant, pleurs superflus !

Où je criai : L'enfant que j'avais tout à l'heure,

Quoi donc ! je ne l'ai plus !


*
Alas! turning an envious eye towards the past,

unconsolable by anything on earth,

I keep looking at that moment of my life

when I saw her open her wings and fly away!



I will see that instant until I die,

that instant—too much for tears!

when I cried out: "The child that I had just now--

what! I don't have her any more!"



- Victor-Marie Hugo (26 February 1802 – 22 May 1885), on losing his daughter; Léopoldine who died in 1843 -
 
 
Condolences,
Lina.

Living Life

UNLEASH YOUR POTENTIAL

Unless you flap your wings,
you will never know how high you can fly.

With Love,

Lina.

Living Life

Shoot for the moon.
Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.

With Love,

Lina.

Living Life

It's always tempting to believe that people have changed for the better.

But we are frequently disappointed a second or third time.

Do protect your heart.

With Love,

Lina.

Living Life

     
After all,
Tomorrow is another day.

Best Regards,

Lina.

Living Life

You're going out a youngster,
but you've got to come back A STAR.

With Love,

Lina.

Living Life

CARPE DIEM

Seize the day;
Make your life extraordinary.

With Love,

Lina.

Tea

A little food for thoughts:

Drinking tea is like drinking wine;

You pair it with your food,

or with your mood.

Cheers,

Lina.

Book Addiction??

I have a book addiction.
I am not sure yet if that is an entirely good thing.


Most of the books I read, could be categorised into romance,
          With happy endings.


After having read one, I could not help myself but wanting more.
          More,
                    More,
                              More,
                              And more.


I was almost out of my mind,
          Wanting to read more and more.
Wanting to grab a hold onto another book.
          Wanting,
                    Immensely,
                    Intensely.


Then it dawned on me.
          Is this an addiction?
                    Am I goin’ crazy?
These urges are crazy!
Wanting to break free of anything and everything just to read a book?!


Da*n, man!
I really am goin’ crazy!



LotsOfLove,
Lina.

One-Sided Friendships.

It is kind of no fun to be around you when you sulk.
Is it me the one without consideration?
Or is it you who think it is just not worth it to be happy around me?
*defeated, dejected sigh*


I feel that we are getting further away.
Is it my fault?
Is it your fault?
It was the defensive-me talking.
But don’t I have the right to be?
Defensive?


You are getting your way.
I wanted and still want to get my way.
Which should we choose?
It was the selfish-me talking.
But don’t I have the right to be?
Selfish?


I am confused.
I am horrified that it will end this fragile friendship.


There are things that we do not agree on, yes.
But that does not mean we have to go on our separate ways, right?


I am scared, terrified.
I mean, should I be?


I might not like the things you do.
You might not like the things I do.
But you are the go-to person when I need lifting up.
And I am your go-to person when you need lifting up.
Or is it just me who think that way?
Is it just a false hope of mine?
I sure hope not.


Please don’t leave me.
As much as I hate saying it, please don’t leave me.


I don’t want to be left alone anymore.
Maybe that’s my Damocles’ sword, or Achilles’ heel, or whatever.
Maybe that is why I was always groveling on your feet.
Or maybe because I was groveling so you came to me to be my ‘master’?


It hurts, knowing that you don’t treasure it as much as I do.
Knowing that you can throw me away at a moment’s fit.
Knowing that you don’t need me as much as I do you.
Knowing that you don’t appreciate me as much as I do you.
Knowing that you don’t care about me as much as I do you.
Knowing that you’ll be just fine without me, where I’ll crumble without you.


I hate it.


Giving in,
Herlina.

Scary Dreams.

I have been yearning for love, to cure this loneliness.

The bittersweet moments of waiting, hurt.

So much so that I have gone numb.

Oblivious to the constant pain, the unheard nagging ache.

There were dreams that have gotten close, too close, that I was afraid.

Endlessly running away, looking for a tiny little chance of escaping.

Escaping the pain, the betrayal, the reawakening of the haunting past.

Ghastly past that I am scared of.

Terrified of.

Reality shook me up, woke me up, who was shaking with fear.

Then it dawned on me; when you got no love, you can’t get betrayed.

I want to enfold myself in a cocoon, so strong that nothing can break in, or break out.

But all I can muster is a thin, fragile eggshell.

Cracked and broken countless times.

With frail tears my hands trembled, gluing back the sheer shells piece by piece, little by little.

When will I ever be free?

Free from the undesired alarm that jerk me away from familiarity.

Free of the haunting terror that yank my heart away from intimacy.

Somebody, hear my craving of help…

Tear all chain of anxiety.

Get me free.

So that I can wrap myself in the sweet sheer strings of love.

Shackle me up to the binding love of yours.

Lina.

To. A dear Closed-One.

In the beginning, I was looking for a pillar of support.


Then, you appeared.


I thought; that’s great! I’ll be just fine from now on.


In a sudden turn of events, I felt obliged to be your pillar of support.


Instead of leaning on you, I tried to let you lean on me.


Perhaps, I am not a strong enough of a pillar for you to lean on.
Perhaps, I am not a soft enough of a pillow for you to rest your confused little head on.
Perhaps, I am just not the right person that could help you find your happiness.
Or perhaps, I am not the one to give you that happiness you always long for.


Most of our conversations are tainted with the bickers I despise.


Getting you upset and frustrated, getting me upset and frustrated.


Sadness.


Anger.


Misery.


More than happiness, we have sorrow.


I got frustrated.


I did not and still do not know what to do, or how to act.


So, I was thinking, to end this depression on our mental beings, we should end this hopeless connection, shouldn’t we?




I am confused, torn apart.
I said I care, but I thought of leaving.
I do not want to cause you any more despair.
So, I should stick by, shouldn’t I?


Or, should I leave before this resentment goes too deep?




You do not believe me, or maybe you could not.
Times and times again I told you I care.


You still do not believe it.


No, I can not give you everything you want, or need.


I am sorry.
I am sorry that I have my limitations.
I am sorry that I can not do every single thing you want me to.
I am sorry that I feel sorry for that.
I am sorry that I become sad for that, and that I cried over it.
I am sorry that this emotional baggage of mine, burden you even more.
I am just so sorry.




I know sorry can not do anything.


But still, I am sorry.


I fully realised that even with my sorry, I would not change anything, would not mend anything.
I am just so sorry.




I hope you can make up your mind.
Please let me know if you still want, or even need, me here.
And please let me know if you don’t.


I can neither stand your sadness, nor your anguish.


I want to help, and I tried to.


But nothing seems to work.


Nothing seems to affect you.
Nothing, and nobody, seems to influence you, but you.


I seemed to be of no use, of no influence, of no worth.


At this rate, the very thing that I wanted to tell you was that only you can save yourself.
‘Cause I can’t.
‘Cause I can’t stand your sorrow.


It frustrates the hell out of me.


Crazily, I want to help you, to save you if I can.


But it seems that I’ll be the one that needs helping, or worse, saving.


So please, let me know what my role is in this connection, and how do you want me to act it out.




Let me know if you want to continue this connection, ‘cause I wouldn’t want to endure this sickening feelings any longer.






With Love,
Diminishing me - Lina.

Jeritan Hati

Ku cari kesenangan terlarang

Di tengah dunia yang terbatas

Ku minum kabut dalam kesedihan

Ku teguk matahari dalam keremangan

Ku telan panas dalam kesilauan

Ku tarikan cinta dalam kesendirian

Kata-kata manis dari hati yang terasa pahit

Ketenangan dari gejolak

Dari keliaran muncul pengertian

Dari dinamika masa depan, muncul masa lalu yang sederhana dan nrimo

Hati yang tersakiti karena ketulusan

Tergores oleh belati rasa bersalah

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Dunia ini yang terbelenggu rantai kemunafikan.

Dengan penuh cinta,

Lina.